Once Upon a Stupid Gravity Falls Fanfiction Author
by Blind-Eyephone
Summary: Title says it all, my friends. The tale of a stupid author and her epic stupidity. T cause it mentions... it. AND NOW THIS MAY BECOME A SHORT, STUPID SERIES THAT MAKES 0 SENSE AND HAS NO CONTINUATION.
1. Chapter 1

ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A STUPID AUTHOR WHO WAS REALLY STUPID. SHE WAS SOOOOOO STUPID, SHE DECIDED TO GO AGAINST THE LAWS OF THE FALLER FANDOM AND READ THE INFAMOUS, "DIPPER GOES TO TACO BELL".

"IT CAN'T BE THAT BAD. IT'S NOT LIKE EVERYONE THAT EVER READ IT SAID "DO NOT READ THIS FANFICTION" RIGHT? SO SHE READ IT.

WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE SAID, "WELL THEN. APPARENTLY I WAS WRONG."

SO ONE DAY, SHE FELT SUPER CRUEL, SHE'S LIKE THAT SOMETIME- A LO- ALL THE TIME AND SO SHE WENT TO HER BESTEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD WHO WAS A LOT LIKE DIPPER AND SAID "HEY MAX, WANNA GO TO TACO BELL?"

SO MAX WAS REALLY KINDA HUNGRY. HE SHRUGGED AND SAID, "Sure, I guess. Why not?" CAUSE HE'S NORMAL AND DOESN'T TALK IN ALL CAPS.

ANYWAY, THE AUTHOR SNICKERED AND THEY WENT TO TACO BELL AND SHE PUSHED HER BEST FRIEND IN FRONT OF THE REGISTER AND HE WAS LIKE, "Uh... Cameron? Why are you...?"

SO THE GUY THERE WAS LIKE "WELCOME TO TACO BELL SIR MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER?"

AND MAX WAS LIKE "Uh... yea... can I have three tacos?"

SO YEAH, HE GOT THREE TACOS. CAMERON WATCHED EAGERLY, MAKING HIM FEEL SUPER AWKWARD WHILE HE WAS EATING.

THEN CAMERON REALIZED IF MAX= DIPPER, SHE WAS MABEL. SUDDENLY, SHE FELT SUPER SICK, WENT TO THE BATHROOM, THREW UP, STOLE MAX'S TACO'S, AND ATE THEM HERSELF CAUSE THEY'RE ACTUALLY HER FAVORITE FOOD. THEN THEY LEFT.

THE END.


	2. NONBELIEVERS

ONCE UPON A TIME, A STUPID GRAVITY FALLS FANFICTION AUTHOR WAS TALKING TO HER MOM WHO MENTIONED BILL GATES. EVERYTHING BECAME UDDENLY CLEAR. BILL GATES WAS OBVIOUSLY BILL CIPHER!

SHE GASPED AND RAN TO HER COMPUTER, READING ABOUT HIM ON WIKIPEDIA.

AND HE WAS BILL CIPHER!

FIRST OF ALL, HE KNEW LOT'S OF THING. HE KNEW ABOUT COMPUTERS. AND PEOPLE. AND UP... OTHER THINGS... I CAN'T REALLY THINK OF ANYMORE BUT HE WAS INSANELY SMART.

ANOTHER THING WAS, HE COAUTHORED AND AUTHORED SEVERAL BOOKS. THEY MUST HAV BEEN THE JOURNALS!

THAT WAS... PRETTY MUCH ALL SHE GOT BUT STILL! HE WAS OBVIOUSLY BILL CIPHER! SHE FREAKED OUT AND RAN TO MAX'S HOUSE.

"MAX!" SHE SCREECHED AND SHE BANGED HER HEAD ON HIS DOOR TILL HE CAME OUT.

"What? What is it? WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLE WANT AT 2:00 AM IN THE MORNING?" THE DIRTY BLOND GRUMBLED, A PILLOW PULLED OVER HIS EARS IN FRUSTRATION.

THE FANFICTION AUTHOR SMILED "IT'S ABOUT BILL CIPHER!"

MAX'S EYE TWITCHED. "Ok, so you literally JUST WOKE ME UP over something Gravity Falls related?"

THE FANFICTION AUTHOR NODDED BLANKLY AND QUICKLY ANSWERED "YES."

MAX FACEPALMED. "Ok, I'm going back to-"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" CAMERON SCREAMED AS LOUD AS SHE COULD AND STARTED SHAKING HIM.

"ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! I'll stay! Just... jeez, would 'ya stop?"

THE FANFICTION AUTHOR TOOK A HEAVY BREATH, THEN NODDED. "WE MUST CONSULT WIKIPEDIA."

MAX ROLLED HIS EYES. "Yeah, sure or... whatever. Just come in."

THE FANFICTION AUTHOR AND HIM WENT ON WIKIPEDIA AND SEARCHED UP BILL GATES AGAIN AND CAMERON POINTED OUT HOW HE WAS BILL CIPHER.

MAX SIGHED. "Cameron, what makes you think that this automatically proves that Bill Gates in a demon AND on top of that, Bill Cipher even exists?"

THE FANFICTION AUTHOR'S FACE WAS APALLED. "EXCUSE ME? HOW DARE YOU?" SHE WACKED HIM WITH THE COMPUTER SCREEN. HE YELPED. "NON BELIEVER HERE! WE HAVE A NON BELIEVER! OMG A NONBELIEVER!"

MAX GROANED ND SLAMME THE DOOR SHUT, LEAVING THE FANFICTION AUTHOR TO HER WILD, SLIGHTLY TERRIFYING, ANTICS.

THE END.


	3. im tired what is life why is my cat evil

**I promise this eventually gets into Gravity Falls, just read...**

ONCE UPON A TIME THE STUPID GRAVITY FALLS FANFICTION AUTHOR WAS HAVING A DREAM. CAUSE IT WAS AT NIGHT.

AND SHE DREAMS SOMETIMES.

RARELY.

LIKE, ONCE EVERY THREE MONTHS.

ANYWAY, MOST OF HER DREAMS END WITH HER DEATH, SO THIS ONE WAS RATHER UNIQUE.

SHE WAS BASICALLY JUST DREAMING ABOUT SOME STORY ABOUT CATS SHE WAS MAKING WITH ALL THESE CAT OCS EVERYWHERE AND UGH, IT WAS ANNOYING.

THE MAIN CHARACTER WAS A SMALL, BLACK CAT CALLED BRISTLE, AND SHE WAS CURRENTLY THINKING OF WAYS TO MAKE THE PLOT MORE ANGSTY.

"I KNOW!" THE FF AUTHOR CHIRPED HAPPILY, "I'LL HAVE KYTIE," WHO WAS THE MAIN ANTAGONIST, "CUT HIS HEAD OFF!" AND SO SHE IMAGINED A DEMON CAT THING CUT OF BRISTLES HEAD AND THEN SHE IMAGINED BRISTLES SISTERS WHO ARE BOTH LIKE SUPER ANNOYING AND KINDA JERKS IN THEIR OWN WAYS LIKE "OH NOOOOOOOO! BRISTLEEEEEEEEE"

AND THEN KYTIE SPUN AROUND AND LOOKED UP AND WAS LIKE "HEY! C'MON! wHY DO YOU KEEP HURTING ALL YOUR OCS?"

THE AUTHOR WAS LIKE "CRAP THATS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN…" AND KYTIE REACHED UP AND DRAGGED THE GIRL, TURNING HER INTO A CAT AS SHE DID DOWN BY HER THROAT.

SHE GAVE A NERVOUS GRIN. "HEY… I UM… WHATS UP, MY AMIGOS? WE'RE ALL FRIENDS HERE, YEAH, FRIENDS, RIGHT?"

THE CATS ALL LOOKED UNAMUSED.

"SERIOUSLY, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HURT US, BRISTLE ESPECIALLY!"

BRISTLE'S GHOST APPEARED AND HE LOOKED KINDA IRRITATED. "DUDE, THIS IS LIKE THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK!" HE MOANED. "AND IT'S STARTING TO GET TO MY SANITY!"

"WHOOPS…" THE AUTHOR SAID.

"HEY, YOU GUYS AREN'T THE ONLY ONES!" A VOICE CALLED AND THE CREW FROM THAT COMIC SHE WAS CURRENTLY CREATING. AUDREY'S SIDE WAS KINDA SLICED UP AND THAT BOY WHO'S NAME I FORGOT, GEORGE OR SOMETHING HAD A STAB WOUND IN HIS STOMACH.

"SHE KEEPS KILLING US, AND LUKE ALMOST HAD HIS STOMACH TORN OPEN TONIGHT!" AUDREY MUTTERED. "FORTUNATELY FOR HIM, BUT LESS FOR ME, I JUMPED IN THE WAY CAUSE THIS WHOLE THING IS KINDA MY FAULT AND I SORTA HAD IT COMING…"

THEY, THE DEMON FOX THAT HAD CAUSED ALL THE INJURIES SHRUGGED. "HEY, IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU BROKE MY HEART AND I TRIED TO KILL EVERYONE IN THE UNIVERSE, INCLUDING YOUR COUSINS AND YOUR COUSINS KIDS, AND YOUR KIDS, AND I TRIED TO STEAL RAEN AND MAKE HER AN EVIL DEMON TOO."

"THAT'S A COMPLETE RUN-ON SENTENCE, THEY!" GEORGE SAID AND SO THEY STABBED HIM TO DEATH CAUSE THE KID'S BEEN PISSING HIM OFF FOR A WHILE.

LUKE FACEPALMED. "MD, YOU DID IT AGAIN! STOP KILLING MY KIDS, GOD DAMMIT!"

MD RUBBED HER FURRY ARM (CAUSE SHE'S STILL A CAT) NERVOUSLY. "WHOOPS, COULDN'T HELP IT…"

SUDDENLY A BUNCH OR SABOR TOOTH TIGER LOOKING THINGS CAME. TWO OF THEM WERE INVISIBLE GHOST THINGS. "SHE DID IT TO US, MY SISTER DIED AND I WENT INSANE AND BASICALLY GOT MYSELF KILLED." SHADED MUTTERED AND AURA NODDED BESIDES HIM.

SOME WOLF THINGS WERE ALSO THERE. "SHE BASICALLY KILLED ALL OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS IN OUR STORY. LIKE SERIOUSLY, ONLY THE BAD GUYS LIVED, WHAT THE HECK?"

THEN SOME CATS CAME. "SHE KILLED… WAIT, ACTUALLY SHE DIDN'T REALLY KILL ANYONE THAT IMPORTANT IN MINE…" A BROWN TABBY NAMED BOASTRIKE MEOWED.

"SHE DID IN OURS!" A BUNCH OF CATS CRIED BEHIND HIM AND THEY WERE ALL MARY SUES CAUSE MD SUCKED AT MAKING OCS WHEN SHE WAS IN FOURTH AND FIFTH GRADE.

"WE DON'T EVEN BELONG TO HER AND SHE KILLS US!" SOME NEW PEOPLE SAID AND OMG IT'S GRAVITY FALLS! YAY! FINALLY, TOOK MY LONG ENOUGH.

DIPPER WAS ALL BLOODY AND SO WAS MABEL BUT NOT AS MUCH. GIDEON HAD A KNIFE AND IT WAS BLOODY. "SERIOUSLY, SHE KILLS ME IN LIKE," DIPPER PAUSED. "EVERY FANFICTION BUT I ALWAYS COME BACK TO LIFE OR AT LEAST AM MEANT TO BE BUT SHE DOESN'T FINISH THE FANFICTION CAUSE SHE'S A LAZY BI-"

MABEL COVERED HIS MOUTH. "JEEZ, DIP, LANGUAGE!"

"AND YOU SHOULD SEE THE ROLEPLAYS!" GIDEON GRINNED, CAUSE HE ACTUALLY ENJOYED THE PAIN MD MADE HIM PUT DIPPER THROUGH.

MD WAS KINDA SCARED NOW CAUSE ALL THESE CHARACTERS WERE LITERALLY GANGING UP ON HER AND A LOT OF THEM ARE ACTUALLY SUPER DANGEROUS.

THE CAT TURNED BACK INTO A GIRL AS SHE BACKED INTO THE GUYS FROM THE COMIC AND THEY PINNED HER DOWN. SHE YELPED. "HEY UM, GUYS? WELL, ACTUALLY THIS DOESN'T APPLY TO THE GRAVITY FALLS GUYS BUT UM… GUYS WHO I MADE? IF I DIE… DON'T YOU? I MEAN, I HAVEN'T STARTED YOUR STORIES SO NATURALLY IF I DIE, THERE WILL BE NO ONE TO CARRY ON YOUR STORIES, GET IT?

THEY SHRUGGED AND ATE HER.

AND THEN SHE WOKE UP.

THE END.

SERIOUSLY I NEED SOME SLEEP I DO ALL OF THESE AT LIKE THREE IN THE MORNING.

I'M NOT EVEN SURE WHAT THIS IS I JUST WANT TO UPDATE SOMETHING.

OK GOODNIGHT NOW DON'T GET HIT BY TRUCKS BAAAAAIIIIII


End file.
